How to Keep Records of Moral Harassment | Recording Statements, Restrictions on Actions, and Health by Date
Records when there is no physical violence
Even when there is no physical violence, the content and time of statements, the number of times the same statement was repeated, incidents in which actions were restricted, and changes in health can be recorded.
Verbal attacks leave few materials that are obvious at a glance, such as photos of injuries or medical certificates, and unless they are written down at the time, they become hard to explain later. This is also why they tend to become a matter of "it was said" versus "it was not said." With records, those consulted can grasp from when, what, and to what extent things have been happening. Which procedures and support are available is decided individually by the place consulted.
Information the places consulted need
At the police, a lawyer, or a Spousal Violence Counseling and Support Center (配偶者暴力相談支援センター), explaining only that "I was hurt by words" may not convey the situation well. With an explanation that shows dates and statements, such as "At 10 p.m. on February 3, I was told 'You're useless.' The same thing was said the next day, and I have recorded 14 instances this month," those consulted can grasp the course of events.
Disagreements over past statements and events
When the other party denies something that happened in the past, it becomes a disagreement between the two parties' memories, and discussion can stall. The term "gaslighting" is sometimes used to refer to this kind of situation.
Notes written on the same day, LINE and email histories, photos, and call records make it possible to check dates later. If, for an event such as "I made dinner yesterday," the other party says "You didn't do anything," a photo of the dinner, a screen showing the time, and the messages that followed can show the place consulted where the statement and the records conflict.
A single disagreement may be a lapse of memory. If disagreements are recorded on several occasions, it becomes possible to explain specifically where they conflict.
Items to record
One method is to record frequency, restrictions on actions, and health, together with dates.
Frequency
Instead of summarizing as "I always get yelled at," the date and the statement are written as they are. Adding entries one at a time, such as "Wed 3/5, evening: told 'You're out of your mind,'" makes it possible to count them later.
Restrictions on actions
What was said, and what happened, about visiting family, contacting friends, or work is written as close to the actual words as possible, with the date and setting, such as "Told 'If you keep hanging out with them, we're getting divorced' (3/7, afternoon)."
Health
Changes such as palpitations, trembling hands, sleep, and appetite are written with dates. If a psychosomatic medicine or psychiatry clinic was visited, medical certificates, treatment records, and prescription copies also become records. Judging the cause is for a doctor, and one method is to write only the symptoms and dates in the record.
Records and how a consultation proceeds
If the records are not organized, much of the first consultation is spent explaining from when and what happened. If the records are organized by date, the consultation can begin with the individual situation. The time and cost of a consultation differ by the place consulted.
Sample fact summary output
This is an example of entering written-out notes into the organizing tool to produce a fact summary and timeline.
1. Overview
The complainant (wife, 30s) has recorded ongoing statements degrading her character and restrictions on her actions by her partner (husband, 40s). Such statements began around September 2025 at about once or twice a month, and from December 2025 onward occurred several times a week. In parallel, incidents of restricted contact with friends and her parents' home are recorded. On February 3, 2026, she visited a psychosomatic medicine clinic and was diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Excluding gaps in the record, 31 degrading statements are recorded during the recording period.
2. Totals by category
Frequency (degrading or dismissive statements): 31 / Restrictions on actions (contact, going out): 8 / Health and visit records: 4 / Control of money: 3
3. Timeline (excerpt)
| 2025/09/14 | Frequency | After dinner, said "Your cooking is always the same and boring" and "Is this all you can make?" Continued about 20 minutes after the children went to bed. | [Planner] |
| 2025/10/02 | Frequency | Said "I don't remember making any such promise last week. Your memory is off." The complainant could confirm the promise in LINE, but the other party claimed "You're reading the LINE wrong." | [LINE history] |
| 2025/11/15 | Restriction | Regarding a dinner plan with high school friend A, said "If you meet them, we're getting divorced." The complainant canceled the plan. Record of messaging A the next day: "Something came up." | [LINE] |
| 2026/01/22 | Health | Palpitations and trembling hands begin. Repeated waking at night; sleep has been disrupted for more than two weeks by this point. | [Planner] |
| 2026/02/03 | Health | Visited a psychosomatic medicine clinic. Diagnosed with "adjustment disorder (ICD-10: F43.2)." The doctor said that stress at home may be contributing (not stated in the medical certificate). Anti-anxiety medication and sleeping pills prescribed. | [Medical certificate] |
4. List of records
Planner (Sep 2025 to present, 31 entries) / LINE history screenshots (11) / Voice memos (4, about 47 minutes total) / Adjustment disorder medical certificate (2026/02/03) / Treatment records (from Feb 2026, twice a month) / Prescription copies (4)
Actual output depends on what is entered. In AI-based organizing, content that was not written can be added and content that was written can be dropped.
Organizing with the organizing tool
In the organizing tool, input is entered in the following order.
- Write out memories and the records at hand. From diaries, notes, copies of LINE messages, and so on, when, by whom, what was done, and what the impact was are written out. Vague memories are written out too and later matched against records whose dates can be checked.
- List the records at hand. Recordings, emails, LINE screenshots, medical certificates, treatment records, prescription copies, and so on are listed by "name, date, summary of content." Files are not uploaded; everything is entered as text.
- Produce draft fact summary and timeline. From the entered content, the organizing tool produces a draft fact summary and timeline. The output is checked against the original records, and errors and omissions are corrected.
Types of places to consult
Places to consult include the police, lawyers, and Spousal Violence Counseling and Support Centers.
This article provides general information and is not legal advice on any individual case.